Sewing can be, well…sew exhausting. Whether by hand or by machine, it’s time-consuming, and sometimes what (or who!) we sew for can be tiring. Whether we’re making the next greatest piece ever known to the fashion world, or we’re making a Christmas gift, we’re spending all of our energy on hoping the recipient will love it—sewing can be stressful—maybe this funny list of sewing puns will help you relax and laugh!
Here is a compiled, assembled list of some of the greatest sewing jokes I could find—and come up with. They’ll be sure to leave you in stitches! Read on, and not only will you sharpen your sewing humor to a (needle)point, but you’ll have some jokes to share with friends and family.
Here’s a few great one-liners—a couple of…straight stitches, if you will.
(Speaking of straight stitches and other stitches, needles can be used for more than just those.)
Before we get on with the jokes, consider taking a look at Sewing Land’s article about the best needles for hand sewing. This article takes a look at the eleven best sewing needles that can take on any and all projects that may come up on a whim. Get straight to the point of any sewing project with the assistance of Sewing Land’s recommendations! Now, without further ado…
Speaking of sewing machines, Sewing Land has a list compiled of the best Singer sewing machines—and unfortunately, these don’t sing, as the name may suggest. Take a break from the jokes above, improve your sewing machine collection, and learn more about what makes a great machine in the process. The article can be found here.
At the top of the list, though (you’ll need to see the article to see the other best recommendations), is the Singer 7258 Stylist. With a massive 203 available built-in stitches, this machine for you if you want to go with something efficient, visually very appealing, and that has longevity like quite no other machine. With a wide variety of needle positions and a speed of seven hundred stitches per minute, you couldn’t possibly go wrong with the Stylist!
Also, a fantastic sewing machine that really gets the job done is the Singer Promise 1412 sewing machine—check it out here. With a heavy-duty metal frame and eighteen different stitch functions, you can trust the Promise (sorry, I just can’t help myself) of the Singer Promise to be there for all your sewing needs and for every last project you may come across. Singer is the ‘sewer’s choice,’ and for a good reason! Not only can the Promise operate under an automatic bobbin, but it also can handle thick fabrics like denim with such ease that it’s not even funny!
Plus, here’s another great machine to consider—the Singer 4423 in grey. With twenty-three built-in stitches and an amazingly sleek and minimalistic design, the 4423 boasts a fantastically useful automatic needle threader—it’s so precise, you could sew in the dark! One of the best parts that this particular machine has to offers its users is the fact that it sews 1,100 stitches per minute—talk about efficiency, right? Now, back to the needle jokes—these, I think, might be a bit blunt.
You know what it is that they say about Christmas trees—can’t trust ‘em in a sewing room or at the knitting club meetings—they drop waaay too many needles!
Successful acupuncture? Now that’s a jab well done!
There’s a new site out there called needleinahaystack.com. Couldn’t find it at first—took some searching!
Well, every needle seems to be looking for a thumb, right? Well, worry no more about pinpricks—make sewing painless, I say! Sewing Land has done it again, and here’s a comprehensive list of their favorite thimbles. The article can be found here—sew and protect your thumbs in style!
Sewing Land recommends a leather thimble, contrary to the traditional metal ones you may have always seen used. Cowhide is the leather of choice in this one, mostly because its thick material is thick enough to prevent any needle slips and piercings of its surface. Since the design of a leather cowhide thimble (the first on the list, at a 9.7 editor’s rating out of 10) is easily manipulated and has a more three-dimensional feel, you can trust that the chances of it working for you and snugly, properly fitting your fingers are high!
Sewing in and of itself can often be a riddle, can’t it? It can be confusing, patterns and projects misleading, and then you feel like everything you’re working on is just one big mess. Take a break from those projects and take a look at these sewing riddles—let’s untangle all the threads of each one, shall we?
A: A sewing machine!
A: It really had everyone in stitches!
A: A needle!
A: A belly button!
A: A needle.
A: A foot!
Now, I know a lot of these puns were probably pretty bad—as it goes with puns. I’m surely hoping that some of them may have made you laugh, and others may have been, well, pointless.
I’ll stop, I promise—but in the meantime, I’m sure these jokes combined with these fantastic recommendations for items to add to your sewing box (or drawer, or room, or whole house!) will definitely keep you busy in the time to come—especially with the COVID pandemic—there’s really no better time than now than to pick up a new hobby—be it sewing, embroidery, knitting, or stand-up comedy!